1.“I said I’m hungry, not horny. But now that you mention it…”
2.“Date night? Skate night? Same thing.”
3.“Did you or did you not just call me a weenie?”
4.“Kick me in the ding-dong, see what happens.”
5.“Why does this receipt say you ordered 60 chicken mcnuggets?”
6.“Your car reeks like Taco Bell and tears.”
7.“The FLOOR IS LAVA! I WILL SAVE YOU!”
8.“Did it grow two legs and move on its own?”
9.“Thank god you’re not a parent.”
10.“Seriously though…did your mom drop you on your head when you were a baby?”
11.“It’s Mario Kart…chill out.”
12.“I said I bought a dog…I wasn’t asking if you wanted hot dogs.”
13.“You could take me out tonight…or we could sit in our underwear and watch vines?”
14.“Awww, you eat your gummy bears by color!”
15.“Rainbow order…always.”
16.“If I had a choice to kiss you…or to breathe…well, I’d breathe.”
17.“The power’s out. We have two options. Have sex, or I got ‘Back to the Future’ on my laptop.”
18.“You stubbed your toe, you’re not dying.”
19.“Why won’t you let me see your yearbook?!”
20.“Can you explain why there are cheeto crumbs ON EVERY PIECE OF FURNITURE?!”
21.“You contact ripped? I guess it’s glasses for you, nerd!”
22.“You ever wish you had a tragic life story so you could get on one of them singing shows?”
23.“Yes, I watch you sleep. No, not in a weird way!”
24.“Don’t you dare say another word.”
25.“Come near me and I swear, I will kill you.”